Hooking up with married men has become a controversial topic; while some people think it’s morally wrong, others think it creates an exit from their own dissatisfying relationships. A recent study revealed that up to 13% of partnered women are involved in consensual extra-dyadic encounters,* making the underlying cause of this trend an interesting focus.
Mismatched Expectations
One of the main reasons women hook up with married men is mismatched expectations between partners. Women who feel a lack of intimacy in their marriages, either physical or emotional, may be seeking it elsewhere. When desire for more from a relationship isn’t fulfilled, some women believe that a married man may be more invested and provide a higher quality of attention than an unmarried partner.
Fear of Commitment
For some women, having an intimate relationship with a married man eliminates the pressure to commit, which can be a relief. It can also offer a sense of freedom, since there is no perceived need to become a couple. The realization that the married man is in fact unavailable and not actually part of their lives can be liberating.
Advantages of Financial Security
Financial security can be an attractive incentive for some women in relationships with married men. The married man’s financial security alleviates the need to rely on a partner’s income, potentially resulting in a higher quality of lifestyle for the woman.
Reasons for Avoidance
Despite the attractive reasons, a relationship with a married man can come with a number of challenges and drawbacks. First and foremost, the relationship is not legally recognized and the woman can potentially be labeled as a homewrecker in the eyes of society. Additionally, the individual may encounter feelings of guilt or shame, which can have a detrimental affect on overall wellbeing.
The Consequences of Hooking Up with a Married Man
Hooking up with a married man can be a thrilling experience in the short term, but it can have devastating consequences in the long term. On the one hand, a married man can offer a thrill of having an affair with someone who is forbidden. On the other hand, if the affair goes on, it can have severe consequences for the relationship between the married man and his partner, along with potential legal ramifications.
Effects on the Relationship
Hooking up with a married man can damage his most precious relationship, his marriage, in a number of ways. His emotions may become entangled with a woman outside his marriage and trust may be damaged. A married man may also suffer guilt and shame at having a secret relationship. Future relationship difficulties can arise for example if he finds himself longing for his affair partner when difficult times arise or if he is not as able to fully commit to his primary relationship.
Insecurity and Jealousy
The primary partner of the married man may initially feel insecurity and jealous feelings of low self-esteem if she knows about the affair. These feelings may be exacerbated if she feels her partner may be considering leaving to pursue a full-time relationship with the affair partner, or if her partner withdraws or deserts her emotionally, financially, or otherwise.
Consequences to Consider
Having a sexual relationship with a married man is a risky endeavor. Aside from the potential legal ramifications, the betrayed spouse might have financial repercussions, such as expensive divorce proceedings or child custody fights. There may also be social consequences to consider, such as friends and family becoming aware of the affair and losing respect for the other party or, in extreme cases, may even end a career. Further, notifying his family and friends might result in public humiliation and rejection.
Take Responsibility and Protect Yourself
If you find yourself entwined in an affair with a married man, it is important to be honest and upfront about potential consequences. Be sure to protect yourself from getting too emotionally attached. While the thrill of the experience can be tempting and may seem exciting, it is likely to end in disappointment and heartache for all parties involved. Each party should be responsible for taking into account and assuming the risks of potential harm they could be placing on themselves or their loved ones.
How to Avoid Getting Involved with a Married Man?
Having an affair with a married man is unfortunately not a unique situation for single women today. If you’ve found yourself dangerously close to a man with a wedding band, it’s important to step out of the line of fire and return to your single, happy life. Here are some tips to help you avoid getting involved with a married man.
Know the Signs
One of the key elements in avoiding a married man is recognizing the signs. Try to determine whether the man you admire is truly single early on in the relationship. Being aware of the signs can prevent you from investing too much time or energy in a situation that will only hurt you in the end. Generally, married men who are looking for an affair do not publicly talk about their marriage or introduce their partner to those around them. Additionally, they often feel financially or emotionally constrained in their current partnership, and want to find someone who can the fill the void. Be on the lookout for these behaviors:
- He rarely talks about his family or personal life.
- He is secretive with his phone and social media.
- He only has time to see you after dark.
- He mentions his marriage or how his spouse doesn’t understand him.
Guard Your Heart
The best way to avoid getting involved with a married man is to simply guard your heart. If you are serious about not straying from singlehood, you must focus on becoming the best version of yourself: emotionally independent and fulfilled. Dedicate to learning new skills, investing in friendships, and gathering trustworthy support networks. These elements will help discourage you from getting into unhealthy relationships, such as being a mistress.
Protect Your Reputation
On the flip side, it’s important to also consider the people in your life that care for you. A relationship with a married man does not just affect the two of you, but it also affects the people around you. In the meantime, if you find out he’s married, the best option is to end communication and the relationship. This ensures that your reputation identifies you as a classy, respectable individual who made a good decision to protect their well-being.
That said, affairs with married men are both deeply damaging and emotionally destructive; it can take an incredible toll on your mental health. Women getting involved with married men often end up falling for the wrong man and neglected in the end. Take the necessary steps to protect yourself and eventually, you’ll attract the right one- someone who is worthy of your love and attention.